


its painful

by overdose



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Abuse, Bullying, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, POV Second Person, Physical Abuse, Sexism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overdose/pseuds/overdose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a misunderstanding and Haizaki knew it, yet he continued to abuse this boy, beat him up until there was no more. Of course the boy fought back- but what was the point? Until Haizaki's heart realized something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just... haizaki is bae. reader is /male/ and people will refer to him with male pronouns, hes gay, ect.
> 
> I haven't thought of a name so it can be default, but his personality and traits are "original"? he's basically an oc.

You smiled at the beautiful girl in front of you. She had long hair and pretty eyes that shined. She needed advice with a boy, and you were so glad to help her. 

"It's that... Haizaki-kun is very cute." She said. "But he isn't... so much of a romantic." 

"I don't know what to do," you ttruthfully said. "But if you don't feel comfortable with him, then break up with him. I don't know Haizaki-kun personally, so I can't speak for him." You leaned against a wall. "I heard he was..." looking around, you made sure you didn't see his shadow. "Not very friendly. Are you sure you want to date him?" 

"Of course~" She beamed, jumping up and down. Maybe the reason why Haizaki asked her out was because of her giant breasts. You felt awkward. "Thank you, [Name]-kun."

"You should try to be romantic with him, if it doesn't work then... take your time. If not, break up with him." You hugged her. "Sound good?" 

She hugged back and nodded. "[Name]-kun is nice." 

 

 

".....I bet he is." a voice said as they entered. "What the hell are you doing with my girlfriend?"

She moved away as Haizaki walked towards you. 

"Nothing. I was helping her with schoolwork." You completely lied.  

"I saw you hugging her," He gripped your collar and brought you forward. "You want to steal her?" 

"No!" You shouted as you were lifted into the air. The girl did nothing but gasp as Haizaki's fist hit your cheek, bringing you onto the ground.

"Tch." Haizaki kicked you. "Hey bitch, get over here." he hissed at his girlfriend. "If I see you with this loser again, not only will I kill him, but I'll kill you too." He snickered. "Now, let's go." Grabbing the hand of the girl, he walked away-

leaving you dead and defeated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since haizaki is a dick, there's obvi gonna be swear words and homophobia.

There wasn't a moment when you didn't feel like shit. You avoided this tyrant every way possible, but being in the same class was hell. You two didn't even acknowledge each other until now.

His girlfriend now became his ex-girlfriend. It wasn't your fault, but he took it as yours.  

You were walking to your locker until he came up and pushed you. "You fucking fag," he hissed. "My girl told me you weren't fucking with her. Since ya know, you're gay." 

"Th-that's correct." You gulped, squinting your eyes to shield yourself from a hit. 

"You're disgusting. You like it up the ass. Now, I'm gonna beat you up only cause of that." He grinned, kneeing you in the gut. 

You slid on the floor, coughing. "Wh-Why?" you asked. "Why... why me?" 

There was a chance to fight back. Yet you couldn't.

Haizaki grinned again, licking his lips. "I like to see pathetic faggots like you whimper in fear. [Name], this is gonna be fun."

Looking down on you as if you were nothing but a toy.  


	3. Chapter 3

He would push you. Attack you out of nowhere, kicking your guts and leaving huge bruises on your arms. 

 _Fight back,_ you thought. But how? You were shorter than Haizaki. Very small and basically nothing compared to him. Your light hair and blue eyes showed toughness, but to what extent? Every time you saw him you coward. Hid behind your books. Bite on your nails. He spat in your ear.

Sitting so close to him, too.

"[Name]-kun," the teacher smiled. "Share your book with Haizaki-kun. He seems to forgot it."

The worst part was, Haizaki was a normal person to you expect when he feels its necessary to insult you. To hit you. 

You stay after school to play sports. Haizaki is a member of the basketball team while you played volleyball. 

Your forehead was beaming with sweat as you left the locker room. 

He gripped your shoulders tightly and threw you against the wall. 

"Ahaha..." He snickered. 

Your body was sore, dammit it all. 

"Have I ever told you how much of a fag you are?" Haizaki dug his nails deep. 

Your eyes were wide with a stream about to fall. "Haizaki..." You said, weak. "Why are you doing this?" 

"Why wouldn't I?" He dropped you, making you collide with the wall again, sliding down. "Just go die."  

You shrugged. "Okay, whatever. I will." 

There was a tiny moment where you thought you saw Haizaki's eyes widen. He shook his head. "Go ahead."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\( ˙▽˙ )/┐( º╭╮º)┌  
> my oc is a bit of a sexist as you'll read.

Haizaki was the type to beat you enough, but not enough to leave you unable to walk.

But it was still bullying, and you still had bruises.

Why didn't anyone help you? Were they talking about you?

Haizaki told you to die. For being gay...? For liking boys? You didn't want to die. No, you wanted to live and prove Haizaki wrong. Just once- punch him in the face. 

There was nothing wrong with liking boys. In middle school, you had a steady relationship with a "bad boy". Maybe it was the fact that the "bad boy" would scare any other people who tried to mess the relationship up. But overall, he was a sweet boy. You had to break up, of course. And now, Haizaki reminds you of this "bad boy". Only worse. 

Down the hall, you heard screaming. It was a scream of a boy- and then other people joined in- cheering on. People passed by you to see what was going on. You ran to the sight-

"Oh fuck," you hissed. 

A large crowd was gathered around Haizaki and this other male student. 

"Say that again," you heard Haizaki growl, punching the student in his face. "I dare you."  

"I s-said I'm s-sorry!!!" The student looked familiar. Ah, right. you had one or two classes with him. He was a jerk, and always looked at you for some reason. He wasn't your type, though. 

"But you don't mean it..... If I ever see you fucking around with him, I will fucking kill you." 

And then the teachers came and separated the fight. 

"What was that?" students whispered. "Why was he...?" 

You searched for your friend. 

"Oh boy, [Name], look at the mess you made." He said. 

"Hm? What are you talking about?" 

"I was there the entire fight." Your friend said. "From the very beginning. It seemed like that jerk spotted Haizaki.. and..." he chuckled. "The kid started saying stuff about you." 

"M-me?"

".....He called you fag, a queer, homo.. It went like: 'Hey, you know that kid [Name]? He's such a fucking fag- Little pussy'. It grabbed Haizaki's attention and they began to fight.... But I don't understand why Haizaki got so offended." 

You nodded. "He usually.. hits me,"

Your friend knew about this. You told him not to do anything- and he hated it. 

"You know what I think? That saying, [Name]. When a boy likes a girl, he usually teases her. Calling her ugly, getting her to hit him, ect. It happened in middle school. So maybe, the same thing is going on here. But with you and Haizaki." 

"But I'm not a girl." 

In fact, you hated girls. They were always so uptight. Perfectionists. So upbeat, yet annoying... They loved you. They asked you out from time to time- you couldn't take it. Boys were always so... smooth, calm.. sometimes rude, but much better than females. When you started to date the "bad boy", everything felt at ease. 

You never wanted to hit woman. Sometimes, though. They were just so annoying... 

"I'm a boy."  

In fact, you could take care of yourself. You were tough. You've been in several fights- and you won. That's how you got the "bad boy's" attention. 

You didn't know why you were so weak when it came to Haizaki. 

"That's how I see it." Your friend shrugged his shoulders. "Talk to Haizaki."

"What?! No!" 

"That isn't the [Name] I really know." He walked away. 

 

* * *

 

 

Talk to Haizaki. Right. You could do this, it's only a conversation, right? Right. .... The amount of "rights" you're saying is not right. Right. But he was in the office, probably getting scolded, and leaving with a suspension. Maybe worse... expelled? No, you didn't want that... 

You just had to go to volleyball practice and that's it. You could avoid Haizaki, right? Right. 

Dammit you're nervous. Just let the day pass by, with Haizaki nowhere to be seen.

But you have no luck.. 

He appears in the last class..  the class where you sit next to him.

Thankfully only your group of friends know the situation. Everyone thinks Haizaki is crazy. 

He kept glancing over at you. 

Blush appeared on your cheeks. "Do you mind?" You gritted through your teeth. 

"Shut up." Haizaki hissed back. "Don't think I'm done with you." 

Sadly, he is. Because now its your turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ykw, im about to make a prequel to this for the "bad boy" ;) i hope you know who he is <3


	5. Chapter 5

You finally did it. 

You slammed Haizaki against the wall, grabbing his collar. But what were you supposed to say? Nothing came out. You just looked into his eyes, your own wide with confusion. 

"Fucking idiot!" Haizaki said, pushing you off. He grabbed you and now switched the position. "You're such..   an idiot.. " He was dangerously close. "You know that?" His voice was soft as he whispered in your ear. "I hate that." Your arms were being held so you couldn't move. "You're driving me crazy.." 

Then came the unexpected. Haizaki kissed your cheek. He moved his arms to your neck and brought you closer, so now he could kiss your lips. Softly he did that, pressing against your body. 

"Haizaki-" You were left speechless. If he liked you, then why did he beat you up? "Why?" You asked. "Why...?"  

His fingers traced against a past bruise on your face, he kissed it afterwards. "Forgive me." 

And you did like him. As much as you hated to think about it. If only he didn't beat you up then you would've made a move. 

"Please." He kissed you again, running his hands all over your body. You raised your legs and wrapped it around his waist, leaning against the wall. 

"I thought you hated me," your voice wavered, looking straight into his eyes. 

"Huh." Haizaki looked the other way. "I'm not good with explanations, but you made me so gay I started to hate it. And it lead me to hit you- because I beat up everything I hate. But I don't hate you." He looked back at you. "I like you- in a gay way. And it's painful." 

"I see.... Then, why don't you earn me?" 

You dropped from his grasp. 

"Eh?"

"Walk me home, Haizaki-kun." 

His cheeks raged with blush. "Really?" 

"And don't you have a basketball game coming up? I'd let you take me." 

Haizaki held your hand. "F-fine." 

This was going to end up great for the both of you.


End file.
